Lord of the Flies, Chapter 4

Painted faces and Long Hair

Just Tired

Boy am I tired of everybody picking on me. Particularly Ralph and Jack. Either Ralph picks on me and Jack joins in, or Jack picks on me and Ralph just gives him a light "lecture". Either way, they still pinch my specs and push me down. Like when Jack let the fire out and took all of the hunters, just so then they could catch a stupid pig. When Ralph yelled at Jack, Jack could care less. But when I yelled at him, his belligerence took over and he malevolently stuck his fist into my gut. I don't see why I am the only one picked on! Well, some of the little kids are picked on, but that is just childplay. What is being done to me is bullying. And I am tired of it.


Besides having part of my daily agenda including being bullied, I like my life on the island. The littluns like me, and it's fun picking berries with them. I think the only friend I've made is Simon. When Jack was cooking the pig, he wouldn't give me any meat because I embarassed him by yelling at him in front of everyone. But Simon saw how hungry I was, and gave me his pork. I think that Jack blacklisted Simon for that, but Simon seemed as if he could care less. It takes a truly good soul to do something like that in spite of a person like Jack. I hope that he and I start to hang out, because I am getting tired of only having the option to hang out with the innocent, playful littluns or the idiotic jerks that are in my age group.

I sure was excited when Ralph spotted the ship. It was rather amusing watching all of the blatant boys blunder out of the forest and onto the beach. But almost as soon as I went into a daze, I snapped back out of it. I had to grip reality. What if the signal wasn't smoking? What if it wasn't and the ship wouldn't see any sign of humans on the island? I asked Ralph if the signal was lit, and of course he ignored me and absentmindedly said that of course it was lit. I could tell that he didn't take in what I was asking, so I said it louder. Still he said of course. At that point I was panicked. I screamed at him if the fire was lit and that we should check just in case. Finally, Ralph stopped daydreaming and got serious. I could tell that my tone of voice had panicked him. He screamed for everybody to run to the mountain where the signal was located. When I watched all of the other boys bolt for the woods, I saw the swarthiness of their skin burst into thin air and replaced by pale, shocked armor. Being in the physical shape I was, it took me awhile to catch up -to everybody. But when I arrived, all I could see was impalpable sorrow, anger, and despair. Sorrow, because we all thought we would never see our family again. Anger and hatred for the godforsaken hunters, who left the signal so they could catch meat. And last but not least, depair for we now all believed that we would die on this island. Either from starvation or old age, just the thought of death on this horrid island, shook our hearts. I will never forgive Jack for this. For abandoning our safety for his pride. For making my life on this island a living hell. For making me believe that I was nothing, and that everybody else meant nothing to him. I will never forgive him for that.